Ignoramus iSelfus Humans in America

Dateline: #Toronto, #Canada #GNN Breaking News

World-renowned, anonymous scientists and anthropologists have discovered a new breed of tribal-humans

They’re calling this new tribal-human breed … Ignoramus iSelfus

Several tribes have been observed sweeping across America, under self-absorbed, demanding leaders

The species is uniquely adapted to #SurvivePowerless in today’s ever-increasing, insane, virtual-reality world. An enhanced, augmented-reality, computer-generated image of the Original Ignoramus iSelfus male is shown in this news release

Note these unique adaptations of this species in the image

1. A four-sided, four predatory-creature head

Featuring a macho-man face at the front, a ravenous-lion head on the right, a gore-em bull head on the left, and a (not visible in this image) screeching-eagle head at the back

This allows the Ignoramus iSelfus to have 360 degree sensing ability to survive in their virtual-reality jungle.They do not miss a threatening-thing or trend in their followers virtual-reality world

2. A large, Unicorn-type, horn out of their forehead – To which is appended a mobile-phone, for broadcasting continuous #selfies to family, friends, thought-leaders and slave-followers

3. Large disc-like earsThese rotate 360 degrees to pick up the slightest, trending-happenings in their “Got to make it happen now man” virtual-reality world

Full bodied Ignoramus iSelfus man - In all his glory
Full bodied Ignoramus iSelfus man – In all his glory

Thus, they can instantly broadcast, survival opinions, likes and dislikes, to their eagerly awaiting hordes of followers in their world wide web of “me-first-followers”

4. An implanted digital, solar-powered watch on left wrist This allows them instant read-outs of whatever goes on both within and outside their#selfies

They totally control their online world for their innate, selfish desires! Plus, instantly; Facebook, Google, Google Plus, Tweet, share, sell or buy more of their craving, useless-stuff

Stuff they need to temporarily #SurvivePowerless. Plus be always ahead of their needy, virtual-reality followers and neighbors

One Ignoramus iSelfus Matrix Maxim is “Love Ur #selfie before U love Ur neighbor + Get their stuff first!”

5. Not shown is the large suction-cup tongue, each Ignoramus iSelfus has

This allows them to instantly “suck up” whatever their “Can’t Get No Satisfaction – Craving of the Moment” is. Before their equally needy and greedy virtual-reality neighbors get theirs!

They acquire such wonderful stuff as; comfort-food and drink, custom-cars, designer-clothes, newest video games, spontaneous trips (shopping or travel), tweets, viral-posts, watches and whatever else their little minds desire to #SurvivePowerless for just one more online, dull-day


Sooo … U reader of this #GNN #Breaking #News on this new tribal-human breed … #Ignoramus #iSelfus, must be wondering where can I meet one of these fascinating new creatures?

Perhaps U may even desire to join one of their tribes with a “Can’t live without our charismatic leader!” pride-parade chant?

Stay tuned to Ur #GNN Breaking News station on this site – More will be revealed soon!

  • Leah Rifkin

    This is such a fun and accurate way of describing how society has become so screen-obsessed. Everyone is staring down at their phones and as a result can miss amazing opportunities that are presented to them every day.